Thanksgiving at the Ford's

If you've noticed...it's been a while since I last posted. I have been pretty busy in the last few weeks, but also been sick or the kids have been sick, and all around things have just been pretty hectic.

But despite all of that, there has also been this great fullness that I've felt.

And my mind has pretty much been running in overdrive. I have been learning some really wonderful things from my Bible study group: the chosen books have been wonderful, and I've heard from God on a number of issues that I need to work on. Also, though, it has been so amazing to see God working in the lives of the other members of my group. I have felt Him speaking on such a number of things, that it has been hard to really narrow it down. I have thought many times that I would like to write, but when I sit down, I'm not sure what I want to focus on. (But, right now, I feel thankful, so I'll share that!!)

With Thanksgiving in a few short days, we spent this past Saturday with Grant's dad's side of the family at his Aunt Barbara's house. We always have such a great time at her and Russ's house because it is so different from what we are used to. Surrounded by a lot of land is something we don't get to enjoy everyday with houses on top of each other in our neighborhood. So...anytime we are at the Ford's, we greatly enjoy this freedom. The kids run and play, climb trees (even when repeatedly told not to...ha ha), go on walks to find rocks, roast marshmallows by the red-neck fireplace, just have an all around good time. Not once do the kids ask to watch TV. So...the kids have a great time, which goes without saying, but I am guessing that the adults have just as good a time. I know I do.

There is something to be said, about just being with family. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays. You aren't worried if you got the right gift for the right person, or if you spent enough money or too much on this gift. You are just "being" with your family.

And that is what I enjoyed so much about Saturday. It was a day of just "being" and enjoying. Last year at Thanksgiving, we also spent some time at their house, and it was one of my most fondest memories in a long time. As most of you reading this know, we've had a rough year with the Pittman family. Last year at Thanksgiving, Grant's brother Cory was in the hospital having just had a motorcycle wreck and having significant brain trauma due to his wreck. Grant's father, who sadly passed away this past May, was sharing Thanksgiving with us, but was sick. I remember thinking that it would be the last Thanksgiving we'd share with him. Things were just pretty sad last year, but despite our sadness, it is one of the most special times I remember spending with our family. There was a closeness, a feeling of this deep need to be together. Like I said before, a time that will forever be etched in my memory.

And this year, will probably be no different. I was very sad, because the absence of those not with us was felt greatly. I know Mr. Tom would have loved to see Audrey and Colby playing with the new little puppies. Or to see the older kids, pouring out their bags of rocks and finding the "best" ones. Or watching them catch their marshmallows on fire. None of them really liked the marshmallows, but they loved turning them to a blacken crisp and then begging one of the adults to eat them. [Come to think of it...I'm sure Mr. Tom did get to see all of that!!!] So, there was absence. Grant's stepmom, who is having her first Thanksgiving without her husband, or Grandma without her son. Stacie, Grant, Cory, and Heath without their father. Barbara, Carolyn and Sherry without their brother. And all the grandkids without their "Papa." Sherry and David weren't with us this year, because Sherry was walking in the Breast Cancer 3-day event in San Diego (Thanks Sherry!!!) and we missed them being with us. And then there was Christi and Joey, who would have soon been bringing their baby home with them, had they not lost the baby early in pregnancy. But I was also glad, because sitting with us was Cory, who is almost completely recovered from his accident. What a blessing! Especially since last year at this time, we didn't know how things would be for him. A lot of layers. A lot of sadness. A lot of progress. A lot of family!!!

And I think that is why I have loved our time there so much. We aren't on a schedule, we aren't on a routine....lunch is at 1-ish, (which for some is One o'clock, others it's 4:30 p.m.), and we can just sit back and enjoy. That's how I would describe it "joy-filled," even despite the sadness. Because in the absence of those not there, you sensed the love from the family to help you through.

So, thank you Barbara and Russ, for making us all welcome at your home! I will always have great memories!! (And many more to come!)

I am thankful so much for the family that I have. I am thankful that God has chosen to bless us. And I am thankful that despite the sadness, He still is with us, showing us everyday the joy that comes from being more like Him.

Dear Heavenly Father,
During this Thanksgiving season, I thank you for my family. I thank you for giving me special times like this past Saturday to have in my memory forever. I thank you for each and every one of the family members there and those that weren't, and pray that you will be with them. Thank you for the blessings that you have given. As we approach Thanksgiving day, let us be mindful of the reason we have to give thanks. Dear Lord, I know that there are many people having Thanksgiving this year without a loved one. Please comfort them and surround them with loving friends and family to help them through.
I love you, Amen.

Random Ramblings

I feel like I have so much to catch you up on, so I know that this post will be full of rambling!!

First to all of you, thanks so much for praying for me as I went to Boston. It couldn't have been a more enjoyable time. We were able to accomplish so many things, and we left feeling like we had helped to further our cause and educate doctors more about mastocytosis. Our time together was fun and I've never laughed so hard!! With varying personalities, I would never have guessed we'd get along as well as we did - but we did!! My flights were fine, and on my return trip, I was feeling like a pro at it!! I realized that sometimes the worst part of something we are dreading, is the actual fear itself. Once you push past the fear, you usually find yourself in an amazing place. And that was the case for me. I cannot tell you how many times I was so aware of God's hand in our trip. That was an awesome experience for me. Things that should have set us back, only pushed us forward to better things!! So, it was a great trip and I really do appreciate your prayers and support.

On my return flight, I had a wait at the airport for about 5 hours before my flight leaving Boston. I spent that time working on my Beth Moore bible study, so I was pretty immersed in it. When they started boarding my flight I noticed this young army soldier with his mom and dad. They were hugging and the mom started to cry. The young, brave soldier, looked at her, and said, "Don't you start it Mom. We are not going to cry." Well...she held her sobs, but the tears were gently flowing. I happened to be right beside this young guy as we were heading onto the plane, and the quiet tears his mom was shedding, became loud sobs from him. I was so moved. I refrained from reaching out and hugging him right there, but that's what I wanted to do. I looked at him and told him that I appreciated his service to our country (he was going to Korea for a 20 month tour), and that he would be in my prayers. It so reminded me of the sacrifice these men and women are making for our country, so when you think of the soldiers, remember this guy and pray for him.

I mentioned above moments where I felt God was orchestrating my circumstances, and the soldier experience was one of those moments. Anytime I think of men and women serving our country I think of their sacrifice mainly because of Rob (brother-in-law) serving in Iraq and our friend Lee Henry. And it really moves me. But also because new friend, Mrs. Kay Bonner (from my Bible study) has shared her son's story with us. Everett - her son, is serving now in Iraq as a surgeon with the National Guard (I believe that's correct). He has a family and small children and we have been praying for him since the beginning of my Bible study. So...not only was I able to pray for this soldier I have never met, I was able to pray for Mrs. Kay's son in a new light. It was a God inspired moment for me. So, please also remember Everett in your prayers.

I have a lot of prayer requests today.

Today, I am wearing a bead bracelet with 4 beads on it that I made as a prayer bracelet. My friend Beth Stogner will be going to India this week with a group from her church First Baptist Covington on a medical mission. The 4 beads represent my prayer for her, her family, her team, and the people of India. Beth shared her testimony with our MOPS group last week, and it is an amazing testimony. Beth has 4 boys, and her son Sam was in Madison's class at St. Timothy's for 3 & 4 year preschool. As any mother would feel, leaving her children is a source of fear. She told the following story and I know she won't mind me sharing her great story of how God answered her prayer.

Approached with the decision to go to India, Beth said her immediate response was "No way! but...I'll pray about it." Well...how many of us have said that same thing, knowing good and well, that the answer was NO. Beth said she felt the same thing, but that over the months that she was praying about it, she began sensing God's nudge toward India. One of the weeks that she was praying about this trip, her husband Tom left the iron on in the house 2 times in one week. Knowing that she would have to leave the 4 boys with him while she was gone, she said she called him at work, and asked him, "How am I going to go to India if you keep leaving the iron on?" So..he told her they would buy an iron with an automatic turn off. Okay, well, that solved that problem. BUT...her boys like toaster strudels and pop-tarts for breakfast each morning, and they don't have a toaster - she just uses the broil option on the oven. She said now she was worried about him leaving the oven on while she is gone and burning the house down. Something else for her to worry over. (She needed a toaster!)

So later in the next few weeks...she and her husband went to something at the church, where they had a bunch of door prizes that you could enter your name to win when you entered the room. She entered her name and her husbands, and she said the table was filled with gift certificates to spas, and things like that, but the shiny double toaster was what caught her eye. She said, at the moment she saw the toaster, she knew she was going to win!! So, she sat and listened to the speaker, and at one of the bathroom breaks, she went up to the table to view the door prizes. She was talking to a friend of hers, and told him, that she knew she was going to win the toaster. He was holding some cards in his hands, and asked her, "What if I told you that you won a door prize?" She asked excitedly, "I did?" So, it comes time for him to read the names to everyone and hand out the prizes, and guess what....Beth Stoger - WINNER OF THE TOASTER!! Beth said she ran back to her husband and shouted, "I'm going to India!!!"

This was just one of the examples she shared of the many where she KNEW God's answer for her was to go to India!

God speaks to us, and shows us our answers if we ask Him and listen!! For some it comes in a scripture verse, for others a conversation we have with a friend, for others a sermon on Sunday morning, and then for others, a TOASTER!! However God speaks, we should listen!! Beth will be leaving the end of the week for a 10 day trip to India. Despite her fears and anxiety, she is following God's will for her life. Please remember her in your prayers as she goes!! (I should add that she has full faith that her husband will take care of her 4 boys, she just will miss them, as she's never been away from them for this length of time!!)

What are you seeking God's will for? We don't have to be going on a mission trip, or to a war to serve our country. But wherever we feel God leading, there is bound to be anxiety, and "out of our comfort zone" kind of fear. I pray that wherever you feel God leading you, or to whatever situation you are seeking His will...that you will find Him!! When we ask, God delivers!

Dear Heavenly Father,
Today I pray a special prayer for Beth as she prepares to go to India later in the week. Give her Your peace and protection. Bless their ministry and the people that they will be ministering to. Lord I also pray a special pray for the men and women who serve our country. What a tremendous sacrifice they and their families make for us!!
I love you, Amen.

Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

I'm going to Boston...

I keep finding myself having to go back to my post "Traveling Light" for a few reminders, in preparation for my trip coming up on Thursday.

For those of you who don't know, I am going to Boston on Thursday to the American Academy of Pediatrics Conference, along with 3 other ladies, to represent Mastokids.Org. I am very excited about this trip, but it's my first "big girl" trip since having my girls, and so I am a little anxious about leaving them for 4 nights.

Let me just say, I am leaving them in capable hands, I know Grant will do a wonderful job... of getting to Columbia as fast as he can so that the grandmothers' can help out!!! (Seriously, I know they will be fine.)

Especially with my two page color-coded list for each girl with specific instructions on what to pack for lunch on Monday, and what to include in their school bags, what to take to the grandparents, how many diapers to put in the diaper bag...etc. etc. etc. (I know they will be fine).

Yes...I do know they will be fine. And I have to keep reminding myself that though I am not going to be in control...they still will be fine. I really, honestly, have full confidence in leaving them with Grant because he is such a wonderful father, but it's just that feeling of being out of control.

That same feeling of being out of control, makes me worry for no reason about the flight and my safety, or being in a place I've never been before with 3 ladies I've never actually met. Or to worry obsessively about whether to pack so that I can carry-on my luggage, or check my bags - because if I carry it on, then I have to worry about whether I can lift my luggage up to the overhead compartment or if I'm going to have to bother a stranger to help (Yes...I actually voiced this concern out loud and Grant was none too thrilled! He thinks I'm crazy! And maybe I am, but my friend Lori (thank-you Lori), actually was concerned for me over the same exact thing!) One thing I can promise you though, is whether I carry it on or not, I will not have too much luggage, and I am planning on wearing flats!! [Learned that on the cruise, or more specifically, exiting the cruise down that long winding ramp!]

Today, as I was doing a test drive with my packing, to see how things would fit, I found myself worrying about what kind of panties to take in case my bag gets to be the one that's searched. Do I bring the cute brightly designed Victoria's Secrets or the no-wedgie Hanes Her Way, that are much more comfortable? [I hear you, I'm insane, but I just don't want my underwear spread out all over the conveyor belt for all to see! But, if it is...I've got to decide which kind will look cuter! (on the conveyor belt...I know, it's ludicrous)]

So, while I am doing all of this irrational thinking, I know that no matter what, I am going to be fine, my girls are going to be fine, and Grant is going to be fine. It's all fine!! And I know this because God keeps telling me to trust in Him. He is telling me to hand it over, give up this need for control.

I don't have any grand revelations in this post tonight, but I am just asking that you will pray for me as I go. I am so excited about the opportunity to make a difference for children living with mastocytosis as Audrey is, and I am thrilled to meet the people in person that I've been working with over the internet and by phone for almost a year. These are the things I keep reminding myself of.

I am so glad that God will listen to my worries as crazy as they are, and provide me with the peace that He is going with me on this trip. I don't know if He cares that much whether my luggage is on the plane with me, or if it is fine with Him that I send my luggage on a trip of its own and hope it makes it to Boston by the time of my arrival. And I am pretty sure He has no opinion on the panty thing!....BUT, I KNOW He wants me to know that He is going with me. And that provides me peace and protection!

I leave on Thursday and will return on Monday - so if you think of me (maybe when you are choosing your panties for the day), say a quick prayer for me. I would greatly appreciate it!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I know that it is crazy some of these little things that I have worried over. I know they seem silly and they are. I also know that on a bigger scale I want things to be fine with my girls and Grant while I am gone. I want my travel to and from to be smooth and safe. All of these things, Lord, I know will be fine, because You are going with me. It is such a relief when I think, that while I am traveling to Boston by myself, that I am not really ever alone. You are always with me. Thank you for the promise that You will always protect me and watch over me. Thank you that when my fear enters, You are bigger than that fear. You will always be with me.
I love you, Amen.

Psalm 121:1-2
"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Psalm 121:7-8
"The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Reap the Harvest

I am currently doing Beth Moore's bible study "Stepping Up" at my church, and I was so moved by today's homework that I had to share.

Today's lesson focused on the second half of Psalm 126:5-6 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."


In my study bible under these passages this is what it reads, "God's ability to restore life is beyond our understanding. Forests burn down and are able to grow back. Broken bones heal. Even grief is not a permanent condition. Our tears can be seeds that will grow into a harvest of joy because God is able to bring good out of tragedy. When burdened by sorrow, know that your time of grief will end and that you will again find joy. We must be patient as we wait. God's great harvest of joy is coming."


Last week in my bible study group I shared about a friend of a friend who was facing the awful possibility of losing her newborn son. Well, sadly, over the weekend, her terrible "worst case scenario" came true. I won't pretend to know where this dear lady and her family are today. Most assuredly, in the deepest pit of grief imaginable. I, too, know the pain of losing a child, my unborn child, but a child nonetheless, and so I grieve with them. I pray that in their grief they will hear God's voice. I pray that though the "songs of joy" will be far-off for them, that they believe they will again be singing.


I am so glad that God promises that we will again find joy.

Another point brought out in Beth's lesson is how we actually have to "sow" the seed by applying it to our reality. She shared of visiting a poor country on a mission trip, and a local man sharing with her and her husband that "One of the most frustrating things is that in villages where they receive seed, they often eat the seed rather than planting it and bringing forth the harvest."

They are hungry, so they fill themselves up with something that will be short-lived, rather than have patience for the harvest to grow.


I cannot tell you how many times I have eaten the seed in my own life. I expect such quick "fills" for my problems. What has become so apparent for me in this lesson, is that sometimes it takes patience. (I should say, not sometimes, but all the times) It takes watering, tending to and fertilizing the seed, and then waiting for it to grow. In my own times of grief, I wanted a quick fix. How many times I would read scripture and expect an immediate reprieve from my sadness, or my lonliness, or my depression, whatever it might be. I put these time restrictions on God's ability to do as He promised. I cannot imagine how many times I have missed my great harvest, because I gave up on the seed too soon.

Beth Moore writes, "God repeatedly says that a harvest is sown, not eaten as seed. We have to get down on our knees in the hardship of our circumstances and apply God's Word to the most difficult places, believing God will bring a harvest."


No matter what situation we face, we have to do the work...we cannot just throw our hands up and say, forget it, it's not happening fast enough. To reap, we must sow. Even in grief...the most difficult time in my life was when I lost my child, and the hardest work I ever did, was at that time, trying to find my way out. I couldn't have done the work without God's help. It was a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle, but pretty soon, I saw growth.


Dear Lord,

Tonight, I pray for a special prayer for Deborah and her family. I pray that You will be a God of comfort to them in this time of grief. I also pray that You will be a God who keeps His promises. And I know this to be true. The promise to bring them one day out of this unimaginable pain and despair, to a place of harvest. If there's one thing I can say of the difficult circumstances I have faced in my life, it's that there has been growth in my walk with You. No matter how many times in my life I have had difficult circumstances, seemingly impossible, heart-wrenching circumstances, You have shown me that I will make it with Your help. You have taught me that something good would come. I am thankful for Your promise that I will one day reap the harvest. Help me Lord to sow Your Word, not to swallow it. Help me to put into practice Your teachings. For then, and only then, will I reap with songs of joy.

I love You, Amen.

Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Matthew 18: 21 - 22 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

I don't remember all the details surrounding this, but several months ago, our church was vandalized by several teens in our community. They came in and destroyed computers, and did a lot of damage to the Youth department of our church. I remember the emotion surrounding this crime and how strongly it affected the staff at our church. There was over $100,000 worth of damages. Following that time, our preacher asked for us to pray for those kids who had committed this horrible act. I remember this feeling of sadness that everyone felt for our loss, but more so, a sadness for this group of young people who had carried out this act of violence.

Last Sunday our sermon was on Forgiveness. Rev. Mitchell is always sharing these little stories to bring "home" his point in the sermon, and this Sunday was no different.

He told about an encounter he had had on his way to Wednesday night supper at the church. He said that he was in his office and had started to make his way over to the Family Life Center for dinner. Between the church office and the Family Life Center, there is a driveway. Rev. Mitchell shared that as he was coming across, he noticed a car pull up right beside him with two young guys in it.


The boy driving asked if he knew if the preacher was there.

Rev. Mitchell said, "Yes. I think he is. He usually is at this time on Wednesday night."

The boy said, "Do you know where he is?"

Rev. Mitchell replied, "Yes. I am pretty sure I do."

Then the boy said, "Well, do you think that I could talk to him for a minute?"

Rev. Mitchell playfully said, "I think that could be arranged. You see, I am the preacher."

The boy got out of his car and asked him if there was somewhere that they could talk, and so, if my memory serves, they went back to Rev. Mitchell's office.

Inside his office, this young boy identified himself as being one of the guys who vandalized our church.

He was coming to tell him he was sorry. He was coming to ask for forgiveness.


The boy shared with him what he had gone through the last several months in boot camp, I presume as punishment for his crime, along with ways he was trying to "pay back" for what he has done. And he shared with him how his life had changed dramatically since that occurence. I think that this must have taken great courage on his part, to come back to the very place of worship that you broke into, and ask humbly for forgiveness.

One of my favorite parts of the story was that Rev. Mitchell shared about how moved he was by this young boy's sincerety. Rev. Mitchell told the congregation that he wasn't a very "touchy feely" kind of guy, and that he rarely hugged someone, but he said when the boy reached over to hug him, that he hugged him back, and shared at that moment one of the most meaningful hugs he's ever received.


That's what true forgiveness can do for us. It took a lot of courage for this boy to show his face. For him to admit his wrongdoing, for him to face the Preacher of the church he destroyed, and ask for his forgiveness.

I was very moved by this sermon, because it taught me that forgiveness can do wonders for a relationship, it can do wonders for our own lives. If we are holding on to something that someone has done to us, or the wrong we feel we've received at the hand of another, that grudge is only hurting us. Sometimes, we hold onto those because we lack the courage to just forgive, or the courage to ask for that forgiveness. Sometimes we have to forgive the other person even before they ask. What a wonderful testimony of how true forgiveness works for the one wronged, and the one doing the wrong.

Dear Lord,


I am so thankful for this message of forgiveness. I am thankful that you sent it to me at the right time. There are many things in my life that I am "holding onto." Lord, I pray that you will help me to work on these areas that need forgiveness. I pray for those people that I am thinking of now. Help me to forgive.


I love You, Amen.

Traveling Light

I don't know about you, but when I go on a trip - no matter how long or short - I can pack some stuff. I just feel this real need to be prepared. I never really know what the weather is going to be like, so I pack both jeans and shorts, or I might decide to go for a walk, so I need my tennis shoes, or we might decide to go out to eat, and if we do, I'm gonna want to take this dress, and oh, of course, I'll need these shoes. And on and on.

In a family with two sisters and my mom, I remember my dad having this rule whenever we went on vacation, "You can bring whatever you like, but YOU are carrying it!!" He wasn't able to handle all of that luggage from four girls. And he didn't.

This notion of traveling light, however, never did fit into my bag!!!

Never was that more apparent than on "The Big Red Boat" cruise with my friend Christi after we graduated from college. If you've ever been on a cruise (at least the two I've been on), you show up at the terminal ready to board the boat, hand your bags over to the "people," and mysteriously your luggage is waiting for you by your room when you arrive. Nice isn't it?

It is. Except that when you leave, no such luxuries!! I will forever be reminded of this everytime I see a cruise ship, or am loaded down with luggage, or just simply the mention of our Big Red Boat cruise comes up in the presence of Christi Walker.

You see, I was loaded down as usual with my suitcase, my duffel bag with all of my shoes and makeup, and of course, a bag full of all the goodies I had bought on our excursions. We go lugging our bags to the Captain's gallery waiting hours for our number to be called so we could depart from our trip. (Not near as luxurious as our boarding). Finally, our number is called, and we make our way to the exit of the ship, and down the winding ramp leading us to the dock. Did I mention winding and downward ramp? Why I thought I needed to look all cute on this day, with my 2 inch wedge shoes, I'll never know, but picture this...

I started down this ramp, and the weight of my bags carried me faster and faster, and faster. My right foot slipped off those too-high heels, my left knee plunged to the ramp in my attempt to remain upright leaving me with a knee-cap size bruise for weeks, my face wrinkled up in all kinds of horrifying expressions, and some kind of gurgling squeal came out of this foreign place in my throat. Somehow....SOMEHOW, I managed to stay on my feet (or my knees), gather myself and keep going. But not without this uncontrollable, unsympathetic I might add, laughter coming from Christi!!

You would think that if for no other reason, that incident would teach me the all important lesson of "traveling light." (Not so, just ask Grant!!)


For several years now, I've had the book, "Traveling Light," by Max Lucado on my end table in my den. It was loaned to me by a friend, and I placed it on the table hoping to read it, and over the last several years, it's green spine with gold-lettered writing has become a part of my den's decor. For some reason, the other night, I decided to actually READ it!!

Max Lucado has this great and entertaining way of sharing God's message of laying down our baggage. There is a lot of baggage that we carry that keeps us from moving freely. Luggage that weighs us down and sends us rolling down a cruise ships' ramp if you will. And I think it is fair to say that we all have some kind of baggage. The burden of weariness, of worry, of guilt, of fear, of grief, and on and on. In some way or another, we are all carrying extra baggage.

Lucado writes, "Traveling light means trusting God with the burdens you were never intended to bear." He goes on to say, "How can you lift someone else's load if your arms are full with your own? For the sake of those you love, travel light. For the sake of the God you serve, travel light. For the sake of your own joy, travel light."

What kind of extra baggage are you carrying?

Maybe it's grief. Lucado writes, "If so, you know that the black bag of sorrow is hard to bear. It's hard to bear because not everyone understands your grief. They did at first. They did at the funeral. They did at the graveside. But they don't now; they don't understand. Grief lingers." ... "Why does grief linger? Because you are dealing with more than memories - you are dealing with unlived tomorrows."

Or maybe it's fear. Many of you know that I am planning to fly to Boston next month to represent Mastokids.Org at the American Academy of Pediatrics conference, and for some reason, though I've flown before, I am experiencing fear. Lucado points out that "the source of your fear may seem small to others. But to you, it freezes your feet, makes your heart pound, and brings blood to your face." What are we supposed to do with that fear? Be specific with our prayers. "Give God the number of the flight," Lucado writes.

Philipians 4: 6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

Maybe it's hopelessness. With this burden, unlike the others, our bags are empty. "[Hopelessness] is empty, and its emptiness creates the burden. Unzip the top and examine all the pockets. Turn it upside down and shake it hard. The bag of hopelessness is painfully empty." With our hope in the Lord, we have found someone to lead us out. Romans 5:5 "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Read Psalm 121:1-7 (and I will share with you in a later post some of the ways God has been using this exact scripture to help me).

Maybe it's guilt, Psalm 37:4 "My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear."

Or shame or discontent, or arrogance....


Whatever your extra baggage is, there is a God who can carry it!! A God who can help us lay it down.


My dad might not have been willing to carry my luggage (and rightly so), but our Heavenly Father will!!

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."


Dear Lord,

Thank you for allowing me the time and the determination to pick up and read this book by Max Lucado. Thank you for addressing my own fear in such a specific way with his words. Thank you for picking up my fears and helping me trust them with you. I pray that as I learn this lesson of traveling light, that you will teach me how to pack more effectively. That you will show me that carrying around all of that extra stuff isn't necessary and only weighing me down. Help me to bring all my luggage to the baggage claim!! I pray that you will help all of those reading this with their own luggage concerns.
I love you, Amen.

Some say it with flowers, I say it with Words

I have always loved to write. I like even more, to read beautiful words, words that just seem to flow freely from the pages. Over the years, many people have told me that I have a gift. A gift with words. A way with words. A way to reach others with that gift and with those words.




I have spent many years writing poetry, writing little personalized cards for those that I love for birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations of any kind really. And I have enjoyed it. I have also written many letters of encouragement over the years. Let's face it, I like to write. And I express myself much better with words, than the spoken language.




Okay, before you go thinking that I am "tooting my own horn," just hear me out.




I have prayed for so long that God would use me. That God would show me a way that I could be used for his service. That I could "mean" something to someone. And I guess that I thought that had to be on a GRAND scale. Well. It doesn't. God has used me. Each letter that I've written that has touched someone's heart, God has used me. Each poem that I've shared, God has used me.


God is using me.


And I am proud to be used.


Acts 26:16 "Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you."



I have always prayed that God would show me if there was a way that my writing could be used for His Glory. I am enjoying writing in this format, and have prayed that if it was right to share with others, that God would give me the go-ahead.



In July of 2001, I was even praying that prayer then.

"I have always said that I love to write...but it seems so hard to try that. Fear enters the equation - or perhaps the devil trying to discourage me. I am not sure if this is what you have in store for me - but I do pray, that you will give me a passion - and help me turn that into something that will help others. Help me Lord realize my dreams by using them to glorify You."



And again in February 2002 -
"Please Lord show me how I can be used and in what capacity with my current situation. Help me to help others."



....and in my devotional God was saying to me, "I appear to you so that you may speak and write, warn and witness of those things you have seen and those things I have yet to show you, so that other eyes may be opened and turned from the power of darkness to the Light." (Hearing God, Jones)



I have always kept a journal of my prayers. I have always wanted to write a devotional. In this format, I can journal, and perhaps share a devotional with you. So, while I might fear I should keep this private, I am going to do what I feel God leading me to do, and that is to share with you.



I have been doing this all summer, so when you have time, go to the beginning of the posts and start from there. I cannot promise I will write everyday, or every week, I am just writing when I feel led. And I pray that God will use my words, to bring Glory to His Name!!



Dear Heavenly Father,

Even as I am typing this post, and about to share with others, I am nervous and worried about what others will think. I don't want this to be about me, but about You. I feel that there are many ways people can share Your Name, and the way I feel most comfortable in, is in writing, and for so long I have just kept this to myself. I don't want to be hiding my faith. Help me to share my faith in this way. Lord, thank you for the gift of being able to express myself through words. Help me to use that gift to honor You.

I love you, Amen.



Luke 8:16, "No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light."



Matthew 10:19-20, "do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."

One thing after another

Today, I am just simply not having a good day. Everything seems to be going wrong.


I went to bed last night thinking that today was going to be an easy day. But, with a bed-wetting accident last night by Madison (totally unlike her), I was starting the morning with laundry!!

Then I had to go pick up a form from the doctor's office so that I could legally have medicine on hand at Audrey's school if she needed it. They called me a week ago to come and get it, and I just finally made it today. Once I got there though, I realized that the doctor had only signed one of the two pages I needed signed. "He'll be in any minute," the receptionist said, "You are welcome to wait." So, I did, and he never came. I finally decided I would leave and come back, and as soon as I drove away maybe a half mile, the receptionist called, and said, "He just made it in, and has that form for you." UGH!!!

Since we were on our way to Wal-mart, I just kept going - wrong choice I now see.

I won't bore you with the details, or go through the hassle of re-living them myself, but it all went severely downhill with Audrey, a push-pop sucker, and the checkout line. We were about out of there, and she had to have this sucker, and when she realized that she couldn't get the whole thing out of the tube, she proceeded to throw it across the cashier, into the aisle beside us. It hit the lady in that aisle, crashed to the floor, and broke into a million pieces. Then....if that wasn't bad enough, Audrey's fit got even worse when she decided then that she DID in fact want her sucker. I left Wal-Mart, with her screaming and crying, trying to get out of my arms, and just about succeeding by falling to the floor, and me trying to push my full cart one-handed to the car, struggling to control her in the other. Not to mention trying so hard to avoid the stares of EVERYONE in the checkout line. They might as well have put it up on the loud speaker, "Disgruntled child, exasperated mom. Aisle 12."

I guess I did bore you with the details, but now you'll understand my distress a little better. Besides, it helped to get it off my chest!!


Anyways, that has just been my day. One struggle after another. One unexpected event after another. There are days when I seem to be handling it better, and then there are days like today, where I just simply feel weary!!

Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

So, I do know that we all have challenges in our day to day life. Mine today are minor inconveniences, but they weigh heavy at times. In the checkout lane, I'm questioning how to parent Audrey in that situation with all eyes on me. I'm struggling between the need to correct her, and being feared that I'll be turned over to the Department of Human Services. You all know what I mean.

On my way home, I'm in tears because I don't know if I handled the situation right or not. What should I have done different or better?

And then I hear the Lord saying to me, "Bring it to me." "Let me help you with your day to day struggles. Let me help you with your parenting issues. Let me show you how to best effectively parent Audrey and Madison in the ways they both need."

And so, rather than falling to the ground in tears, I am just falling at God's feet in prayer.

Dear Lord,
Today, has been a hard day. I know that it is compounded by the fact that Audrey doesn't feel well, that I have a headache, and that I had more tasks to do than I anticipated, etc. Please Lord take the anxiety I have, the worry that I am not doing it right, the fear of what others will think or say of me, away. Show me Your Way!! Teach me Your will with my children's lives. Help me to bring my cares to you because you care for me.

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. "

I love you, Amen.

Sometimes Only the Father Will Do

This is just a quick little post of what was going through my head last night at 2 am when Audrey woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.

It started with the low wimpering, and then it became a loud, determined "I want out of this bed now" kind of cry. I walked into her room, and asked her what was wrong, and she moaned, "I don't know!!" So, I did what any crazed mother at 2 in the morning would do, I told her "Don't you know it's in the middle of the night. You need to go back to bed. Now."

And she quietly said, "I want to 'Rock-a-bye the baby,'" which is her sweet way of saying, she wants me to rock her and sing "Rock a bye baby, on the treetop. When the wind blows..." (You know the song.)

So, I carefully jerked her out of the bed, plopped down in the rocking chair, and wrapped us up in a blanket, and started singing. She quickly settled down and was very still. Still enough for me to put her gently back to bed.

Tiptoeing out of her room, and breathing a sigh of relief once I snuggled back to bed, I settled in to drift off to sleep. And then the light on the monitor went to flashing, and I could hear the whimpering again.

I walked back in the room, sat back in the chair, and did the whole routine over. Gently put her back in the bed, and walked back to my room.

We did manage to get a few more minutes this time, before it started a third time.

At this point, I am seeing a pattern here, so when I go to her, I sit beside her bed and instead of getting her out, I just reach my hand over and held onto hers. She lays there quietly rubbing my hand, and despite how tired I am, I am thinking to myself what a great moment this is. To be able to comfort her with just the touch of my hand.

Basking in this glory of Motherhood, still tired out of my mind, but glad to be able to have this sweet moment with Audrey, she looks at me and says, "I wanna go see my Daddy!"

What? (Thinking to myself, "Your daddy is laying in their snoring - Don't tell me you want to see him!!!) BUT...at this point I am exhausted, and so putting her in the bed with us is the only option I see that is going to work. So, off to the "family bed" we go!!!

Okay, so I know it is crazy, but as I was laying there completely awake from all the musical beds, I thought about how in our everyday life, there are many people who can comfort us. We have a bad day, and our friend brings over ice cream. Or we feel like we are the worst mom in the world because of the day we've had with our kids, and another mom reaches over and grabs our hand and tells us that we've all been there before. We hear bad news, and someone is there holding us close. Whatever it may be, we need these people in our lives to help us get through, to comfort us and to help to hold us up. And many people are able to accomplish that. And all of that is so very important! Just as I was able to do several times with Audrey.

But, in the end, when it comes right down to it...We need to see our Daddy!! Sometimes Only the Father Will Do!! So, no matter what comforts we are receiving from others, there is nothing like being in our Father's arms!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I am so thankful that I have friends around me to comfort me, to support me, to be there for me. It means so much to be surrounded by Godly friends. But more than that, I am so thankful to have the comfort of knowing that You will always have Your arms open to me. That no matter what I am going through, You are there with outstretched hands!! Sometimes, we just need to see You, to feel Your presence. To come and be comforted by You. I have many images of You. You as our Lord and Savior. You as our Teacher. You as our Friend, but the one I love the most, is You as our Father.
I love You, Amen.

2 Corinthians 6:18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

Romans 8:15 "And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'"

Looking Back

There are a lot of moments in my lifetime that I could easily say "changed me." I am who I am today because of these situations in my life. Some of those things are tragic, others are light. But they've all been moments along my path, guiding me to where I am today.

I love to look back on these times in my life, because it reminds me that even though the path isn't always smooth, we manage to find good along the way. Each rock we stumble over, or the smooth part on the path that we slide through, in some way shapes us and molds us. So while I would take the good anyday, I am very thankful for the broken times in my life, because it is from the bottom I find myself looking UP!

I love the analogy of dropping bread crumbs along your path so that you can find your way back to where you started. Sometimes on my path of life I have felt lost, but knowing that Jesus is going before me, behind me, and beside me, I have those bread crumbs to follow Home.

Meeting dear friends in the second grade and having them continue to be my best of friends today, is a smooth part, a blessing. Drop a bread crumb.

Having my father have health issues with his heart and major heart surgery while I was in the fourth grade, was a stumbling block, but also a blessing because I learned at an early age the importance of health and exercise. Drop a bread crumb.

Growing up in a small town with all my extended family, a blessing. Having a long-term relationship end while I was in college, a boulder, but no doubt, the catalyst that put me in the right direction for my future. Meeting my soon-to-be husband thereafter, and knowing I would be blessed forever to have him in my life. A blessing. Drop more bread crumbs.

Getting pregnant the first month I tried, a blessing.

Learning 17 weeks later, that my pregnancy would end - tragedy. Bread crumbs.

And on and on. Rocks, Boulders, Smooth paths, Blessings. All bread crumbs.

The sheer joy of two beautiful healthy little girls. The hurt from losing my grandmother while I was pregnant with Audrey. The blessings of good jobs, moving closer to home, having good friends. The sadness of Mr. Tom's sickness, the terror of Cory's motorcycle wreck, losing Mr. Tom to cancer, tragedies. Even so, they have all strangely been blessings in my life. Because out of these situations, the good and the bad, have come a lesson, a reminder that I am always in God's care.

Looking back on all of these moments, I am thankful for the One in my life I could look UP to!!!

Several years ago, I wrote the following in my journal:

Out of tragedy, comes triumph. Right? Well, I am not sure I have triumphed but I would like to think I am on that path. What felt like such a deep, deep pit just a few months ago, is still a pit (but one where there is a ladder!) I am doing the best I can to climb to the top. Sometimes, one step forward means two steps back - other times it means 3 more steps forward. The point being is that you never know where those steps will take you, but you just keep taking them.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for all the times in my life that I am able to look back and find you. Thank you for being with me in the moments of joy as well as the times of sadness. Thank you for showing me that despite it all, You are with me, helping me follow those bread crumbs back to You. Lord, sometimes along my path, I cannot seemto find the way back. At these times, I am so
grateful that You have shown me so clearly, the path. Thank you for giving me the strength to manage the everyday moments of my life, the good and the bad, and be able to learn from these times.

I love you, Amen.

Because Jesus is the only one who could fix him...

Since Mr. Tom's death, Madison and I have had several conversations about what happened to her "Papa." Most of the time, these conversations are never prompted, they seem to just come out of the blue. For example, eating lunch with the girls, Madison would remember riding 4-wheelers with Papa, or see a horse and remember him and Barbara coming to watch her horseback ride for the first time. All of these memories are ones that she brings up. Sometimes the conversation starts and ends just as quickly, and other times like tonight, they are lengthy and involved.

At bedtime tonight, she chose a book about Jesus and the stable. It was a Christmas book, but she chose it to read before bedtime so we did. I was reading the words and not really paying attention to the pictures, when she asked me why angels were invisible. I thought about this question, and believing that some of the people I know are angels here on earth, started answering with that line of thought. I noticed the illustrations in the book showing the angels as translucent. And so I knew why she was asking, or so I thought. She then said, "Well, the angels that came and got Papa were invisible." She then asked why Papa had to go with the angels. I am always cautious with the way I word what happened to Papa, fearing that she will think that sickness leads to death, or that stomach problems lead to cancer. You get my drift.... Tonight I could tell with her questions that she needed more answers.

I tried to explain as best I could that cancer was the bad cells in our body and how they can take over the good. And that most of the time the medicine the doctors give can get rid of the bad, but that sometimes it just doesn't work. Sometimes the bad cells outnumber the good, and nothing the doctors can do will help. I wanted her to know that the doctors and her Papa did all they could. Wanting to end the conversation myself, because I was worried I was making things confusing or scary for her, I just said simply, "It was just time for Papa to go and be with Jesus. And it's a great place to be, at home with Jesus." And she looked up at me and smiled, and said as if to answer her own question, "Because Jesus is the only one who could fix him...."

I just smiled with tears in my eyes at her profound statement that came so simply, so matter-of-fact. Isn't that true for all of us, no matter what we are facing, that Jesus is the only One who can fix us!! Doesn't have to mean that we go to live with him to get "fixed." But He is the One to turn to. He is the One!!!


Dear Lord,
I am so thankful today for the blessing of having this conversation tonight with Madison and how through her 5 year old brain, you could reach me so loud and clear!! Help me to know that You are always the answer. Help me to have her child-like faith!
I love You, Amen

On a day like today...

I was watching the Larry King Live episode featuring Steven Curtis Chapman and his family on Tivo last night, and sobbing at the pain I saw on their faces. Pain that was so fresh. How can they even be sitting there talking without falling to little pieces when only a few short months ago, they lost their precious Maria Sue? It's because of You, Lord. One thing that struck me was that in an instant, our world can change. Our lives can be turned upside down TODAY, when YESTERDAY we were out shopping for our wedding dress, or were just bringing our baby home from the hospital, or just simply mowing the yard. How suddenly and fast our lives can change. I had this awful feeling after watching the show, and after thinking of sudden tragedy. What are your purposes, God, in this, what is Your plan?



Larry King asked the Chapman's why they thought God allowed such a thing to happen. Steven's answer to that was because we live in a world where both forces of good and evil exist, both Christ and satan. In no way meaning that what happened to his daughter was brought about by evil, he went on to explain that sometimes he believes that bad things just happen. He also said that he believed, as I do, that God was weeping with him as he was crying over Maria.



Even so, it is hard for us to understand why so many bad things happen to good people, and why when we KNOW and BELIEVE that our God can save us from these tragedies, that they still occur.



In just the last few months I've watched my father-in-law pass away from cancer (though not sudden tragedy - still hard to watch), a friend of mine lose her seven week old to sudden brain injury after surviving two heart surgeries, a family member of mine go through a molar pregnancy and the pain associated with losing a child as well as worrying about her own health, and heard about a man who drowned while trying to save another drowning stranger while on a family trip to the beach. Tragedies!



And I guess the important thing for me, is to know what we as Christians do with those tragedies. After my own personal loss of my child mid-way through my first pregnancy, I asked the same questions of why to a pastor friend. And what he shared has always stuck with me. Not so profound, but simply - that he believes that God ALLOWS these things to occur so that we as Christians have an opportunity to share Christ. That we as Christians are able to show our faith. And sadly, I've had many friends go through a similar situation, where I was able to help and give comfort. And for that I am most grateful!



2 Corinthians 1:3-4, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."



On a day like today...a day seemingly simple, and uneventful, how are we living? How are we honoring God? Certainly today many people are receiving tragic news. Because we live in a broken world, we are sure to face difficulties. Lord, how am I going to act today? How am I going to praise You today? How am I showing my faith? How am I living so that my neighbor sees You through me? How am I going to get through? How am I, Lord, going to make it? How am I going to live on a simple day like today, not to mention a day marked by tragedy?


While I don't know all the answers to what God's purpose is, or what His plan is in every tragedy, I do believe that He plans to prosper us, to not harm us, to give us a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) So I believe that even in the midst of difficult circumstances we are still able to hope in the future. We are able to grieve knowing that there is HOPE in our gracious Lord.

Dear Lord,
Help me live today like it could be my last. Help me share my faith. Help me use my talents in a way pleasing to You. Help my every movements be done so with the assurance that I am behaving as You would have me. Lord I love you. I thank you that despite the tragedies of this world, despite the hardships that we and those around us face, that we are Yours. That in the good and the bad times, You are holding us, protecting us, loving us, reassuring us, going before us, guiding us, and most importantly, using us! Help me Lord, to always be conscious of the blessing of being Your child. Bless the words that I put to paper - help me honor You in my attempt to help those that I love. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to accept me with all my faults, with my failures, with my always feeling like I come up short. I am Yours, and I will honor You, adore You, praise You, and share You.
On this day, be with those that are hurting, and comfort them...
I love you, Amen.

I'll Hold You In My Grasp

The following is a poem I wrote while Grant's dad, who recently passed away from cancer, was at home on hospice care.

I’ll Hold you in My Grasp

My sweet and precious Jesus,
From where do these tears fall?
They are coming fast and oh, so strong
But, I thought I’d cried them all.
Though my tears flow like a river,
And my heart is sure to break,
I thank You Lord that you are with me,
Each morning as I wake.
For how I am to make it Lord,
Is a question I have to ask.
And Your answer to me, is loud and clear.
“I’ll hold you in My grasp.”

When the people all around me,
Are going about their day,
How am I to carry on, My Lord?
Tell me what to say.
When the words of comfort come to me,
But they do little for the pain.
Breathe on me Your Word so clear,
As I’m calling out Your name.
When sadness seems to settle,
And the emptiness always lasts.
Your voice will echo in the void,
“I’ll hold you in My grasp.”

When death comes to the door,
And frightens me with its knock.
How I am to let it in, My Lord,
When I want to turn the lock?
For I know that being with You now,
Is a better place to be.
But my heart aches to be near to those,
Who are crying over me.
Show me Lord to walk with you,
Help me through this task.
Give me ears to hear You say,
“I’ll hold you in My grasp.”

When my heart is beating slower,
And my breath is hard to find.
Comfort those surrounding me
For they will know that it is time.
Lift me up in Your loving arms,
Carry me Home to be with You.
Help those who are watching over me,
Lift their eyes to only You.
I’ve come to the place of perfect peace.
My days on earth have passed.
I am in Your Holy presence, Lord,
I’m forever in Your grasp.

Dear Lord,

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be so close to Grant's family and his dad at the time of his dad's passing. We cried and laughed and tried to honor Mr. Tom as he was preparing to come and visit You. We were so at peace with the fact that we KNEW he would soon be in Your home. For anyone going through a similar situation of loss, or loss in general, I ask that you will blanket them with your peace and comfort.

I love you, Amen.

It all comes back...

Isn't it amazing how sometimes we have those "deja vu" moments where we feel we've been somewhere before, or said the same thing at the same exact place, just at another time? You know those moments. Well, my moments with God lately have been kind of like that. Come to think of it, maybe it's not "deja vu," but more like "way back when." I have a pretty strong relationship with Him when I need something or when something isn't going right in my life - at those times we are pretty close. But sadly, I find myself drifting when things are calm.
I wonder why that is. My lifelong friends and I talk all the time, not just when we need something or when things are bad in our lives. We talk daily - to see how each other's day has been, or just to see what they are eating for dinner. Wouldn't it be wonderful for our relationship with God to be that way. I know I would love for that to happen, and there have been times in my life where I've felt just that close.
It is sad to me to think that the only reason it isn't like that today, is because I haven't been meeting God at our time. I pass by my Bible on my coffee table, with a sideward glance, thinking to myself, "not right now, I'll get to that later" - and the whole reason it's out on the coffee table in the first place, is so that I will SEE it and READ it!! We find excuses.
I think about what God is thinking when I go and pour a cup of coffee in the morning and run to my email, to see who has sent me a message. I am now envisioning God sitting on the edge of His chair, and thinking to Himself - "Here she comes, maybe today." and then I walk swiftly past Him to pay bills - the same bills I am going to pray to Him to allow me to be able to pay!!
But, inevitably life throws something else at me, and makes me come back to my God at His feet. Even as I'm writing this, I am ashamed. Ashamed that the only time for God that I have is when I need prayer.
Things have a way of always coming back...
When I sit and worship the Lord, it all comes back
When I lift my voice in song, it all comes back
When God answers my prayers before I've even asked, it all comes back
When Madison (5), out of the blue, tells me she remembers riding on the 4-wheeler with her Papa (who just passed away), and that Papa probably wishes he could see her but that he'll see her one day because she's going to Heaven, too, it all comes back

It shouldn't be "coming back," it should be "always there" because God is always there.

Dear Lord,
My prayer today is that while you are always there with me, that I'll find myself always there wtih you. I pray that our friendship will not always be one-sided, with you waiting for me to come back to you. I pray that I'll be with you always. I pray that the excuses of life, will not keep me from spending time in Your Word! Lord, You have always shown me the right path when I turn to You. I pray that we will walk in step with each other every single moment of my life. I love You, Amen.

Just "Beachy"

I just love the beach. Everything about the beach!!! The greatest thing about our beach trip this summer, was that we ACTUALLY took pictures of our family. In the past several years that we've been to the beach, the white shirt and khaki's have gone along with us, but never made it on us!! So, this year...we actually did it!!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for small miracles like getting a family photo at the beach this year, but most importantly, thank you for my family in the photo!! I feel so blessed to have a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls. Your blessings flow!!

I love you, Amen.

From the beginning...

I am just an ordinary person, with an ordinary life, but I have an extraordinary GOD!!! And because of Him in my life, the blessings flow. That's not to say that there haven't been hardships, but I am happy to say, that despite the low points in my life, that my God has been with me each and every step of the way and has blessed me with a very rich, abundant life.



For many years now, I have kept a prayer journal, and at the end of each prayer, I have always ended with "I love you, Amen." So I thought that would be a great name for my blog, because with each day, with each prayer, I am reminded of how much my love for God can grow if I just turn to Him.



I want this to be a place that I can share about my blessings, my husband Grant, and our two wonderful, sweet little girls, Madison and Audrey. These two little girls were well prayed for and desperately wanted. We are so thankful to be blessed with them. Night and Day couldn't be a better description of their personalities, but we will go into that later....Also, I would like this to be a place to share about my personal experiences that have brought me closer to God.



For now, thanks for the opportunity to share my family with you, and that includes my everything - the Lord Jesus Christ.



Dear Lord,

I am not sure what I am really doing creating this blog or why I am, but I feel like it will be a good place for me to share Your Name. I pray that You will help me to use this in a way pleasing to you. Bless the words that are written, and the people that will read them.

I love You, Amen.