I'm going to Boston...

I keep finding myself having to go back to my post "Traveling Light" for a few reminders, in preparation for my trip coming up on Thursday.

For those of you who don't know, I am going to Boston on Thursday to the American Academy of Pediatrics Conference, along with 3 other ladies, to represent Mastokids.Org. I am very excited about this trip, but it's my first "big girl" trip since having my girls, and so I am a little anxious about leaving them for 4 nights.

Let me just say, I am leaving them in capable hands, I know Grant will do a wonderful job... of getting to Columbia as fast as he can so that the grandmothers' can help out!!! (Seriously, I know they will be fine.)

Especially with my two page color-coded list for each girl with specific instructions on what to pack for lunch on Monday, and what to include in their school bags, what to take to the grandparents, how many diapers to put in the diaper bag...etc. etc. etc. (I know they will be fine).

Yes...I do know they will be fine. And I have to keep reminding myself that though I am not going to be in control...they still will be fine. I really, honestly, have full confidence in leaving them with Grant because he is such a wonderful father, but it's just that feeling of being out of control.

That same feeling of being out of control, makes me worry for no reason about the flight and my safety, or being in a place I've never been before with 3 ladies I've never actually met. Or to worry obsessively about whether to pack so that I can carry-on my luggage, or check my bags - because if I carry it on, then I have to worry about whether I can lift my luggage up to the overhead compartment or if I'm going to have to bother a stranger to help (Yes...I actually voiced this concern out loud and Grant was none too thrilled! He thinks I'm crazy! And maybe I am, but my friend Lori (thank-you Lori), actually was concerned for me over the same exact thing!) One thing I can promise you though, is whether I carry it on or not, I will not have too much luggage, and I am planning on wearing flats!! [Learned that on the cruise, or more specifically, exiting the cruise down that long winding ramp!]

Today, as I was doing a test drive with my packing, to see how things would fit, I found myself worrying about what kind of panties to take in case my bag gets to be the one that's searched. Do I bring the cute brightly designed Victoria's Secrets or the no-wedgie Hanes Her Way, that are much more comfortable? [I hear you, I'm insane, but I just don't want my underwear spread out all over the conveyor belt for all to see! But, if it is...I've got to decide which kind will look cuter! (on the conveyor belt...I know, it's ludicrous)]

So, while I am doing all of this irrational thinking, I know that no matter what, I am going to be fine, my girls are going to be fine, and Grant is going to be fine. It's all fine!! And I know this because God keeps telling me to trust in Him. He is telling me to hand it over, give up this need for control.

I don't have any grand revelations in this post tonight, but I am just asking that you will pray for me as I go. I am so excited about the opportunity to make a difference for children living with mastocytosis as Audrey is, and I am thrilled to meet the people in person that I've been working with over the internet and by phone for almost a year. These are the things I keep reminding myself of.

I am so glad that God will listen to my worries as crazy as they are, and provide me with the peace that He is going with me on this trip. I don't know if He cares that much whether my luggage is on the plane with me, or if it is fine with Him that I send my luggage on a trip of its own and hope it makes it to Boston by the time of my arrival. And I am pretty sure He has no opinion on the panty thing!....BUT, I KNOW He wants me to know that He is going with me. And that provides me peace and protection!

I leave on Thursday and will return on Monday - so if you think of me (maybe when you are choosing your panties for the day), say a quick prayer for me. I would greatly appreciate it!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I know that it is crazy some of these little things that I have worried over. I know they seem silly and they are. I also know that on a bigger scale I want things to be fine with my girls and Grant while I am gone. I want my travel to and from to be smooth and safe. All of these things, Lord, I know will be fine, because You are going with me. It is such a relief when I think, that while I am traveling to Boston by myself, that I am not really ever alone. You are always with me. Thank you for the promise that You will always protect me and watch over me. Thank you that when my fear enters, You are bigger than that fear. You will always be with me.
I love you, Amen.

Psalm 121:1-2
"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Psalm 121:7-8
"The Lord will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."