Today, I did something I haven't done in a very long time! I went all day without making my bed!
For some of you, you are probably thinking, "what's the big deal?"
It's not really - to just anyone that is - but to me, it's a HUGE deal. You see, my whole entire life, I've liked order (I still like it - and I would even go so far as to say I LOVE IT!). I thrive in it actually. It has always been very hard for me to function in disorder. I remember studying in college and having to clean out my notebooks and binders before I could sit and study for a test - because the papers that were sticking out or not neatly folded, would distract me! I think every time that we had exams come around, I always ended up doing a massive cleaning or re-organizing of furniture - because I wanted order. And in my house, I drive my family crazy because I cannot sit and relax without all things in their place. I am like popcorn popping up and down from the couch - I am fine for a minute and then I'll see something out of place, and pop up to get it, and then sit back down, and see something else, and you get the picture!
And in case you don't have a clear enough picture, let me further explain.....
This morning I took a Yoga class, to relax, and found myself jealous of a friend of mine (who clearly likes order as well) who happened to have two yoga mats. I watched her with envy as she stacked one mat on top of the other and took several minutes making sure that the sides of the mat lined up perfectly! I found great pleasure with her, for her, whatever you want to call it, when she actually got them lined up as perfect as could be! WEIRD I KNOW!
I love to vacuum...not because of the fact that it cleans my floors (though that is nice), but because I love the little lines that it makes on the floor when I am done. Oh, and don't give me any of that powder stuff to sprinkle on the floor, because that just makes it even more appealing.
That's probably why I don't mind mowing the yard - because I get to make perfect lines back and forth over the yard...it's cathartic for me!
I am actually feeling pretty good and breathing easy right now, just talking about this order thing!
Today, though...it was more of a challenge for me. I'm not sure what made me decide this morning while in the shower that I wouldn't make my bed...but it was like my little goal for the day!
Something that I need to learn more of is to just relax, and enjoy! To stop aiming for perfection always. To realize that in my life, not every corner is going to match up perfectly, or every bed is going to be smooth to lay in! Sometimes we have to adapt. And to most importantly realize, that no matter where we are, or how chaotic, or how calm the situation we find ourselves in, we can always find GOD! God doesn't wait for all areas of our life to be in order, before He allows us to see Him. He's there no matter what...in all circumstances...in all levels of cleanliness or disgust!!
Classic example - today, I wasn't in the best mood when Grant walked through the door...and having had a root canal today - he wasn't in the best mood either. So...things didn't go smoothly when he first came home from work. I walked to my bedroom (to my UNMADE bed) and crouched down and prayed that God would help me in finding the peace and balance with my communication with Grant...and even in the midst of my unkept bed...God brought me much comfort and direction!
I know you are probably thinking..."Wow..she's weird!" I am...and I can tell you right now, that the challenge isn't over - because the first thing Grant said to me when I brought it to his attention that the bed was unmade (because you know he wouldn't realize it on his own!), was, "Are you going to have to make it up before you go to bed tonight?" My response to him was, "Well,...I am probably going to have to straighten it at least!"
The lesson I've learned today is this...I love order, and I always will...it's how I function best. BUT...I can survive and be okay - even when things aren't in perfect order around me! You know why? Because I know that no matter what - in perfect peace or in crazy chaos - I have my GOD right beside me!
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the crazy illustration of how it is important to sometimes just relax, to let go, and to know that no matter what...you are always with us!
I love You, Amen
P.S. Grant is already in bed...so I don't guess the bed will be made today after all! I can still straighten up my side, can't I?
Posts
