Reap the Harvest

I am currently doing Beth Moore's bible study "Stepping Up" at my church, and I was so moved by today's homework that I had to share.

Today's lesson focused on the second half of Psalm 126:5-6 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."


In my study bible under these passages this is what it reads, "God's ability to restore life is beyond our understanding. Forests burn down and are able to grow back. Broken bones heal. Even grief is not a permanent condition. Our tears can be seeds that will grow into a harvest of joy because God is able to bring good out of tragedy. When burdened by sorrow, know that your time of grief will end and that you will again find joy. We must be patient as we wait. God's great harvest of joy is coming."


Last week in my bible study group I shared about a friend of a friend who was facing the awful possibility of losing her newborn son. Well, sadly, over the weekend, her terrible "worst case scenario" came true. I won't pretend to know where this dear lady and her family are today. Most assuredly, in the deepest pit of grief imaginable. I, too, know the pain of losing a child, my unborn child, but a child nonetheless, and so I grieve with them. I pray that in their grief they will hear God's voice. I pray that though the "songs of joy" will be far-off for them, that they believe they will again be singing.


I am so glad that God promises that we will again find joy.

Another point brought out in Beth's lesson is how we actually have to "sow" the seed by applying it to our reality. She shared of visiting a poor country on a mission trip, and a local man sharing with her and her husband that "One of the most frustrating things is that in villages where they receive seed, they often eat the seed rather than planting it and bringing forth the harvest."

They are hungry, so they fill themselves up with something that will be short-lived, rather than have patience for the harvest to grow.


I cannot tell you how many times I have eaten the seed in my own life. I expect such quick "fills" for my problems. What has become so apparent for me in this lesson, is that sometimes it takes patience. (I should say, not sometimes, but all the times) It takes watering, tending to and fertilizing the seed, and then waiting for it to grow. In my own times of grief, I wanted a quick fix. How many times I would read scripture and expect an immediate reprieve from my sadness, or my lonliness, or my depression, whatever it might be. I put these time restrictions on God's ability to do as He promised. I cannot imagine how many times I have missed my great harvest, because I gave up on the seed too soon.

Beth Moore writes, "God repeatedly says that a harvest is sown, not eaten as seed. We have to get down on our knees in the hardship of our circumstances and apply God's Word to the most difficult places, believing God will bring a harvest."


No matter what situation we face, we have to do the work...we cannot just throw our hands up and say, forget it, it's not happening fast enough. To reap, we must sow. Even in grief...the most difficult time in my life was when I lost my child, and the hardest work I ever did, was at that time, trying to find my way out. I couldn't have done the work without God's help. It was a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle, but pretty soon, I saw growth.


Dear Lord,

Tonight, I pray for a special prayer for Deborah and her family. I pray that You will be a God of comfort to them in this time of grief. I also pray that You will be a God who keeps His promises. And I know this to be true. The promise to bring them one day out of this unimaginable pain and despair, to a place of harvest. If there's one thing I can say of the difficult circumstances I have faced in my life, it's that there has been growth in my walk with You. No matter how many times in my life I have had difficult circumstances, seemingly impossible, heart-wrenching circumstances, You have shown me that I will make it with Your help. You have taught me that something good would come. I am thankful for Your promise that I will one day reap the harvest. Help me Lord to sow Your Word, not to swallow it. Help me to put into practice Your teachings. For then, and only then, will I reap with songs of joy.

I love You, Amen.

Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Matthew 18: 21 - 22 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

I don't remember all the details surrounding this, but several months ago, our church was vandalized by several teens in our community. They came in and destroyed computers, and did a lot of damage to the Youth department of our church. I remember the emotion surrounding this crime and how strongly it affected the staff at our church. There was over $100,000 worth of damages. Following that time, our preacher asked for us to pray for those kids who had committed this horrible act. I remember this feeling of sadness that everyone felt for our loss, but more so, a sadness for this group of young people who had carried out this act of violence.

Last Sunday our sermon was on Forgiveness. Rev. Mitchell is always sharing these little stories to bring "home" his point in the sermon, and this Sunday was no different.

He told about an encounter he had had on his way to Wednesday night supper at the church. He said that he was in his office and had started to make his way over to the Family Life Center for dinner. Between the church office and the Family Life Center, there is a driveway. Rev. Mitchell shared that as he was coming across, he noticed a car pull up right beside him with two young guys in it.


The boy driving asked if he knew if the preacher was there.

Rev. Mitchell said, "Yes. I think he is. He usually is at this time on Wednesday night."

The boy said, "Do you know where he is?"

Rev. Mitchell replied, "Yes. I am pretty sure I do."

Then the boy said, "Well, do you think that I could talk to him for a minute?"

Rev. Mitchell playfully said, "I think that could be arranged. You see, I am the preacher."

The boy got out of his car and asked him if there was somewhere that they could talk, and so, if my memory serves, they went back to Rev. Mitchell's office.

Inside his office, this young boy identified himself as being one of the guys who vandalized our church.

He was coming to tell him he was sorry. He was coming to ask for forgiveness.


The boy shared with him what he had gone through the last several months in boot camp, I presume as punishment for his crime, along with ways he was trying to "pay back" for what he has done. And he shared with him how his life had changed dramatically since that occurence. I think that this must have taken great courage on his part, to come back to the very place of worship that you broke into, and ask humbly for forgiveness.

One of my favorite parts of the story was that Rev. Mitchell shared about how moved he was by this young boy's sincerety. Rev. Mitchell told the congregation that he wasn't a very "touchy feely" kind of guy, and that he rarely hugged someone, but he said when the boy reached over to hug him, that he hugged him back, and shared at that moment one of the most meaningful hugs he's ever received.


That's what true forgiveness can do for us. It took a lot of courage for this boy to show his face. For him to admit his wrongdoing, for him to face the Preacher of the church he destroyed, and ask for his forgiveness.

I was very moved by this sermon, because it taught me that forgiveness can do wonders for a relationship, it can do wonders for our own lives. If we are holding on to something that someone has done to us, or the wrong we feel we've received at the hand of another, that grudge is only hurting us. Sometimes, we hold onto those because we lack the courage to just forgive, or the courage to ask for that forgiveness. Sometimes we have to forgive the other person even before they ask. What a wonderful testimony of how true forgiveness works for the one wronged, and the one doing the wrong.

Dear Lord,


I am so thankful for this message of forgiveness. I am thankful that you sent it to me at the right time. There are many things in my life that I am "holding onto." Lord, I pray that you will help me to work on these areas that need forgiveness. I pray for those people that I am thinking of now. Help me to forgive.


I love You, Amen.

Traveling Light

I don't know about you, but when I go on a trip - no matter how long or short - I can pack some stuff. I just feel this real need to be prepared. I never really know what the weather is going to be like, so I pack both jeans and shorts, or I might decide to go for a walk, so I need my tennis shoes, or we might decide to go out to eat, and if we do, I'm gonna want to take this dress, and oh, of course, I'll need these shoes. And on and on.

In a family with two sisters and my mom, I remember my dad having this rule whenever we went on vacation, "You can bring whatever you like, but YOU are carrying it!!" He wasn't able to handle all of that luggage from four girls. And he didn't.

This notion of traveling light, however, never did fit into my bag!!!

Never was that more apparent than on "The Big Red Boat" cruise with my friend Christi after we graduated from college. If you've ever been on a cruise (at least the two I've been on), you show up at the terminal ready to board the boat, hand your bags over to the "people," and mysteriously your luggage is waiting for you by your room when you arrive. Nice isn't it?

It is. Except that when you leave, no such luxuries!! I will forever be reminded of this everytime I see a cruise ship, or am loaded down with luggage, or just simply the mention of our Big Red Boat cruise comes up in the presence of Christi Walker.

You see, I was loaded down as usual with my suitcase, my duffel bag with all of my shoes and makeup, and of course, a bag full of all the goodies I had bought on our excursions. We go lugging our bags to the Captain's gallery waiting hours for our number to be called so we could depart from our trip. (Not near as luxurious as our boarding). Finally, our number is called, and we make our way to the exit of the ship, and down the winding ramp leading us to the dock. Did I mention winding and downward ramp? Why I thought I needed to look all cute on this day, with my 2 inch wedge shoes, I'll never know, but picture this...

I started down this ramp, and the weight of my bags carried me faster and faster, and faster. My right foot slipped off those too-high heels, my left knee plunged to the ramp in my attempt to remain upright leaving me with a knee-cap size bruise for weeks, my face wrinkled up in all kinds of horrifying expressions, and some kind of gurgling squeal came out of this foreign place in my throat. Somehow....SOMEHOW, I managed to stay on my feet (or my knees), gather myself and keep going. But not without this uncontrollable, unsympathetic I might add, laughter coming from Christi!!

You would think that if for no other reason, that incident would teach me the all important lesson of "traveling light." (Not so, just ask Grant!!)


For several years now, I've had the book, "Traveling Light," by Max Lucado on my end table in my den. It was loaned to me by a friend, and I placed it on the table hoping to read it, and over the last several years, it's green spine with gold-lettered writing has become a part of my den's decor. For some reason, the other night, I decided to actually READ it!!

Max Lucado has this great and entertaining way of sharing God's message of laying down our baggage. There is a lot of baggage that we carry that keeps us from moving freely. Luggage that weighs us down and sends us rolling down a cruise ships' ramp if you will. And I think it is fair to say that we all have some kind of baggage. The burden of weariness, of worry, of guilt, of fear, of grief, and on and on. In some way or another, we are all carrying extra baggage.

Lucado writes, "Traveling light means trusting God with the burdens you were never intended to bear." He goes on to say, "How can you lift someone else's load if your arms are full with your own? For the sake of those you love, travel light. For the sake of the God you serve, travel light. For the sake of your own joy, travel light."

What kind of extra baggage are you carrying?

Maybe it's grief. Lucado writes, "If so, you know that the black bag of sorrow is hard to bear. It's hard to bear because not everyone understands your grief. They did at first. They did at the funeral. They did at the graveside. But they don't now; they don't understand. Grief lingers." ... "Why does grief linger? Because you are dealing with more than memories - you are dealing with unlived tomorrows."

Or maybe it's fear. Many of you know that I am planning to fly to Boston next month to represent Mastokids.Org at the American Academy of Pediatrics conference, and for some reason, though I've flown before, I am experiencing fear. Lucado points out that "the source of your fear may seem small to others. But to you, it freezes your feet, makes your heart pound, and brings blood to your face." What are we supposed to do with that fear? Be specific with our prayers. "Give God the number of the flight," Lucado writes.

Philipians 4: 6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

Maybe it's hopelessness. With this burden, unlike the others, our bags are empty. "[Hopelessness] is empty, and its emptiness creates the burden. Unzip the top and examine all the pockets. Turn it upside down and shake it hard. The bag of hopelessness is painfully empty." With our hope in the Lord, we have found someone to lead us out. Romans 5:5 "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Read Psalm 121:1-7 (and I will share with you in a later post some of the ways God has been using this exact scripture to help me).

Maybe it's guilt, Psalm 37:4 "My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear."

Or shame or discontent, or arrogance....


Whatever your extra baggage is, there is a God who can carry it!! A God who can help us lay it down.


My dad might not have been willing to carry my luggage (and rightly so), but our Heavenly Father will!!

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."


Dear Lord,

Thank you for allowing me the time and the determination to pick up and read this book by Max Lucado. Thank you for addressing my own fear in such a specific way with his words. Thank you for picking up my fears and helping me trust them with you. I pray that as I learn this lesson of traveling light, that you will teach me how to pack more effectively. That you will show me that carrying around all of that extra stuff isn't necessary and only weighing me down. Help me to bring all my luggage to the baggage claim!! I pray that you will help all of those reading this with their own luggage concerns.
I love you, Amen.

Some say it with flowers, I say it with Words

I have always loved to write. I like even more, to read beautiful words, words that just seem to flow freely from the pages. Over the years, many people have told me that I have a gift. A gift with words. A way with words. A way to reach others with that gift and with those words.




I have spent many years writing poetry, writing little personalized cards for those that I love for birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations of any kind really. And I have enjoyed it. I have also written many letters of encouragement over the years. Let's face it, I like to write. And I express myself much better with words, than the spoken language.




Okay, before you go thinking that I am "tooting my own horn," just hear me out.




I have prayed for so long that God would use me. That God would show me a way that I could be used for his service. That I could "mean" something to someone. And I guess that I thought that had to be on a GRAND scale. Well. It doesn't. God has used me. Each letter that I've written that has touched someone's heart, God has used me. Each poem that I've shared, God has used me.


God is using me.


And I am proud to be used.


Acts 26:16 "Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you."



I have always prayed that God would show me if there was a way that my writing could be used for His Glory. I am enjoying writing in this format, and have prayed that if it was right to share with others, that God would give me the go-ahead.



In July of 2001, I was even praying that prayer then.

"I have always said that I love to write...but it seems so hard to try that. Fear enters the equation - or perhaps the devil trying to discourage me. I am not sure if this is what you have in store for me - but I do pray, that you will give me a passion - and help me turn that into something that will help others. Help me Lord realize my dreams by using them to glorify You."



And again in February 2002 -
"Please Lord show me how I can be used and in what capacity with my current situation. Help me to help others."



....and in my devotional God was saying to me, "I appear to you so that you may speak and write, warn and witness of those things you have seen and those things I have yet to show you, so that other eyes may be opened and turned from the power of darkness to the Light." (Hearing God, Jones)



I have always kept a journal of my prayers. I have always wanted to write a devotional. In this format, I can journal, and perhaps share a devotional with you. So, while I might fear I should keep this private, I am going to do what I feel God leading me to do, and that is to share with you.



I have been doing this all summer, so when you have time, go to the beginning of the posts and start from there. I cannot promise I will write everyday, or every week, I am just writing when I feel led. And I pray that God will use my words, to bring Glory to His Name!!



Dear Heavenly Father,

Even as I am typing this post, and about to share with others, I am nervous and worried about what others will think. I don't want this to be about me, but about You. I feel that there are many ways people can share Your Name, and the way I feel most comfortable in, is in writing, and for so long I have just kept this to myself. I don't want to be hiding my faith. Help me to share my faith in this way. Lord, thank you for the gift of being able to express myself through words. Help me to use that gift to honor You.

I love you, Amen.



Luke 8:16, "No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light."



Matthew 10:19-20, "do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."

One thing after another

Today, I am just simply not having a good day. Everything seems to be going wrong.


I went to bed last night thinking that today was going to be an easy day. But, with a bed-wetting accident last night by Madison (totally unlike her), I was starting the morning with laundry!!

Then I had to go pick up a form from the doctor's office so that I could legally have medicine on hand at Audrey's school if she needed it. They called me a week ago to come and get it, and I just finally made it today. Once I got there though, I realized that the doctor had only signed one of the two pages I needed signed. "He'll be in any minute," the receptionist said, "You are welcome to wait." So, I did, and he never came. I finally decided I would leave and come back, and as soon as I drove away maybe a half mile, the receptionist called, and said, "He just made it in, and has that form for you." UGH!!!

Since we were on our way to Wal-mart, I just kept going - wrong choice I now see.

I won't bore you with the details, or go through the hassle of re-living them myself, but it all went severely downhill with Audrey, a push-pop sucker, and the checkout line. We were about out of there, and she had to have this sucker, and when she realized that she couldn't get the whole thing out of the tube, she proceeded to throw it across the cashier, into the aisle beside us. It hit the lady in that aisle, crashed to the floor, and broke into a million pieces. Then....if that wasn't bad enough, Audrey's fit got even worse when she decided then that she DID in fact want her sucker. I left Wal-Mart, with her screaming and crying, trying to get out of my arms, and just about succeeding by falling to the floor, and me trying to push my full cart one-handed to the car, struggling to control her in the other. Not to mention trying so hard to avoid the stares of EVERYONE in the checkout line. They might as well have put it up on the loud speaker, "Disgruntled child, exasperated mom. Aisle 12."

I guess I did bore you with the details, but now you'll understand my distress a little better. Besides, it helped to get it off my chest!!


Anyways, that has just been my day. One struggle after another. One unexpected event after another. There are days when I seem to be handling it better, and then there are days like today, where I just simply feel weary!!

Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

So, I do know that we all have challenges in our day to day life. Mine today are minor inconveniences, but they weigh heavy at times. In the checkout lane, I'm questioning how to parent Audrey in that situation with all eyes on me. I'm struggling between the need to correct her, and being feared that I'll be turned over to the Department of Human Services. You all know what I mean.

On my way home, I'm in tears because I don't know if I handled the situation right or not. What should I have done different or better?

And then I hear the Lord saying to me, "Bring it to me." "Let me help you with your day to day struggles. Let me help you with your parenting issues. Let me show you how to best effectively parent Audrey and Madison in the ways they both need."

And so, rather than falling to the ground in tears, I am just falling at God's feet in prayer.

Dear Lord,
Today, has been a hard day. I know that it is compounded by the fact that Audrey doesn't feel well, that I have a headache, and that I had more tasks to do than I anticipated, etc. Please Lord take the anxiety I have, the worry that I am not doing it right, the fear of what others will think or say of me, away. Show me Your Way!! Teach me Your will with my children's lives. Help me to bring my cares to you because you care for me.

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. "

I love you, Amen.